Upcoming Trip

I leave for Las Vegas on Friday. It’s a friend’s birthday so a few of us are meeting out there to help her celebrate. I think I’m the only one who is currently married. And I’m certainly the only one with children. That puts me in a completely different demographic… While I love my friends and I know we’re going to have a great time, I can’t help but feel a little apprehensive.

I’m dreading “the look” and the inevitable questions I’ll get from the career-minded singletons. I’m sure my SAHM readers have experienced “the look” at some point. It be best described as a look of pity. And it drives me insane. It’s as if they think I’ve been forced into a life of servitude and poverty and they feel sorry for me… It couldn’t possibly be a choice that I made for myself and my family! That’s craziness! Why would anybody give up a career to stay at home?! And the questions… Let’s see if I can summarize my top 3 favorites:

1. When are you going to go back to work?

2. Are you happy?

3. So, you stay at home with your kids… How’s that working out?

The worst thing is that I don’t think they even know they’re doing it. I don’t think my friends are purposely trying to make me feel bad for my choice to stay home with my kids. I believe they just live a completely different life than mine and cannot even begin to relate. So, they try to make small talk with utterly stupid questions like the ones above. They are what Lindsay Ferrier so eloquently describes as Fashionable Single Girls. They just don’t think.

I’m not going to launch into a lecture on my child-rearing beliefs. I’ll just say that I feel happy and blessed to have the opportunity to stay home with my kids. I have peace in my life that I did not have while I was working. That’s not to say that I don’t have many days where I want to run screaming from the house. Because, let’s face it, kids can drive you nuts. Life is certainly not a Hallmark movie around here but it’s pretty darn good. Not every woman is given this chance. I know many mothers who would prefer not to work outside of the home but are unable to for a variety of reasons.

So, in spite of all the frustrations that come along with raising children, I have to say that I wouldn’t change my decision for anything. I feel like I’m providing my kids with the solid foundation they need to thrive. I don’t look at my choice to be at home as one gigantic sacrifice. Sure, I might go back to work one day but then again I might not. And does it really matter? As long as I’m happy? I’m not bitter, I don’t long for a Blackberry to rule my life, I don’t have to have the “it” handbag or the designer jeans, and I don’t need a cell phone permanently attached to my ear. When it’s all said and done, I know the Blackberry and the jeans aren’t going to come visit me when I’m old and gray. The handbag isn’t going to get the chance to run for president. And the cell phone won’t kiss me goodnight.

Perhaps these Fashionable Single Girls will surprise me this weekend by not taking pity on poor little me. We shall see… 🙂


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Aileen
    Mar 26, 2008 @ 12:24:00

    I’ve gotten the same looks. I like to remind my friends that 1) working just to pay for daycare out the nose is stupid. 2) I am lucky to have the opportunity to stay home with my children because like you said, not everyone can do that. 3) Their first steps, their first words, their first smile… I want them all to belong to ME and not someone else. 4) There’s plenty of time to go back to work later when they are in school and don’t need you as much and 5) It’s not like you don’t do freelance work at home for friends when the mood suits you to make a little extra money and lastly 6) All the cooking/cleaning/child rearing/diaper changes/baths/feedings etc. we do… we’re WORK AT HOME MOTHERS! Let the hags with the disposable incomes buy all your drinks. 🙂


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