Big Boys’ Night Out a la Harpooning…

My cousin, S, and I have older boys who are 9 months apart. Wildman is 3 1/2- years-old and T-bone is 4. They’ve been suffering from too much togetherness with their respective little bros. Patience is short and tempers have been flaring. The little brothers are really cramping the older boys’ style. They want to do everything the big boys do. S and I decided that it would be nice for our families to take just the older boys out for a special “date” night. One-on-one time was in order. Wildman and T-bone needed to be the center of attention for a while.

Our plan was to meet at Toys R Us to buy the boys Wall-E shirts then take them to see the movie. J and I had had a late lunch and were not hungry. So, we decided to feed Wildman and Cutie Pie at home then meet up with T-bone’s family later at Toys R Us when my mom arrived to babysit. I’m so glad we didn’t join them for dinner! I almost peed my pants laughing when I heard of their dinner adventure.

It was supposed to be T-bone’s choice of where to go for dinner. Natually, he wanted to go to McDonalds for a chicken nugget Happy Meal. T-bone’s dad, Big Red, had other plans, however. When they reached the McDonald’s parking lot, he started complaining that he didn’t want to eat there. He really wanted to go to Long John Silver’s. S explained that the purpose of going to McDonald’s was for T-bone’s special night out and basically told him to suck it up. Big Red complained some more and ended up convincing T-bone to try “new” chicken nuggets at LJS’s… Big Red is self-centered like that.

Upon arriving at the run down ghetto-hole that our one-and-only LJS’s has become, Big Red got what was coming to him. While S was ordering Big Red stepped on a gigantic cockroach. One of the antennae harpooned his big toe through his flip flop!!! He spent the next 20-minutes in the men’s room trying to extract the antenna and clean the wound. Big Red tends to be a hypochondriac so you can imagine the horror/hyperventilation that was going on in the men’s room. S was completely oblivious to what was going on. She just saw Big Red disappear into the restroom and figured he was having digestive issues since he was gone for so long.

Meanwhile, T-bone decided that he had to pee. S got up to take him into the disgustingly dirty women’s room whereupon T-bone asked, “Is that poo in the potty, Mom.” S answered, “No, T-bone. The potty is just that dirty.” They managed to escape the germ-ridden restroom with as little surface contact as possible. Big Red was sitting at the table when they came back. He explained his delay as S and T-bone stared wide-eyed at him. I don’t think they touched their food. They bolted for the toy store.

EW!!!!! Remind me to never go to our local LJS’s, ‘kay? I never crave that kind of food so I think I’m pretty safe.

So, we met T-bone and his parents at Toys R Us. We let the boys run around and try out all of the Power Wheels vehicles. S and I found two Wall-E shirts in boys’ sizes, not toddler sizes. They didn’t have any in toddler sizes… As a result, Wildman and T-bone looked like they had dresses on 🙂 They didn’t care. They were so happy.

We headed to the movies after purchasing the shirts. The boys got to pick out their own snacks. S and Big Red were still hungry from their lack of dinner so we ended up with an odd assortment of candy, popcorn and sodas. We made our way to the theater and enjoyed a really cute movie. Wall-E was adorable and kept the kids entertained throughout the whole thing. And perhaps the most ironic thing about the movie was Wall-E’s pet cockroach given Big Red’s close encounter of the insect kind… Of course, I had another good laugh at Big Red’s expense 🙂

J and I took Wildman to Barnes and Noble after the movie to pick out a book for himself and Cutie Pie. I don’t know what it is but I’m conditioned to go to a bookstore after seeing a movie. I always do it. A movie date would not be complete without a spin around a book megastore. Wildman picked out this for himself and this for Cutie Pie.

It was a really fun evening that we need to do again real soon. Especially if Big Red supplies more entertaining blog fodder…