One Step Up from Garden Gnomes

Big Red arrived home to a deer in the headlights on Monday night.  Literally.  There was a concrete doe nestled in the grass beside his mailbox.

Upon closer inspection, several more tacky lawn ornaments were discovered in his yard with a pair of bunnies taking center stage in the front island.

After confirming that his parents had not gifted him with such beat up presents, Big Red called us up asking if we knew anything about his new friends.  I had no clue what he was talking about so I went over to check things out.  It was pretty darn funny to see such charming and cutesy lawn ornaments in a single, straight man’s yard.  After a good laugh at the obvious practical joke I assured Big Red that we had nothing to do with it.  Big Red then went on to fret about who could have possibly done such a thing and would he be offending someone when he threw them away if an elderly neighbor had actually put them there with the kindest of intentions.  I highly doubted that Mrs. D next door saw him as a garden statue charity case and suggested that he question Ricardo the next morning.

Sure enough, Ricardo (a fellow lawn care business owner) was the culprit.  He was doing a job for someone who was getting rid of the animals and instead of throwing them out decided to put them to good use in a practical joke.  Well played, Ricardo!  Well played 🙂

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You Know You’re a Floridian if….

My friend, Dr. C, sent me this list via e-mail last week.  It’s too accurate not to share!

*****

You  never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be  over in five minutes.

Socks are only for bowling.

A  good parking place has nothing to do with distance from  the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your  winter coat is made of denim.

You  can tell the difference between fire ant bites and  mosquito bites.

You’re  younger than thirty but some of your friends are over  65.

Anything  under 70 degrees is chilly.

You’ve  driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You  know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house in your neighborhood  had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You  know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth  waking up for.

You dread  love bug season.

You  are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They  aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances.  You  know them as Charley and Frances.

Frances ,  Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma…Irene…Cheryl…Rita  Mary..Alison

You know  what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.

You think  a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

‘Down  South’ means Key West

Flip-flops  are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and  church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church  before.

You have  a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You  get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

A  mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know  the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug  season, tourist season and summer.

You’ve hosted a  hurricane party.

You can pronounce  Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and  Micanopy.

You  understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat,  than have a boat yourself.

You were  25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.

You’ve  worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New  Years.

You  recognize Miami-Dade as ‘ Northern Cuba ‘

Happy Friday